Grief Resources

Saying goodbye to a furry family member can be devastating. Grieving can be uncomfortable and overwhelming. These resources are to help you through to coping with a new normal. There is no right or wrong way to grieve or memorialise your pet. Almost everyone will go through some form of grief in their lifetime and there are many resources out there to help.

My favourite hello and my hardest goodbye

Understanding grief

Grief is the price we pay for love.

Grief is a normal response to loss. Coping with grief can be challenging, especially in the initial stages. It can make people feel lost, and there are commonly changes in sleeping patterns, appetite, expressed emotions, and ability to do daily tasks. Grief is a process that affects people differently, and in different timeframes.

What makes pet loss different is that it is a form of disenfranchised grief: grief that goes unacknowledged or unvalidated by social norms. Surround yourself with people who understand and know that your grief is valid.

You may never stop missing them, but most people are able to move through the grief of loosing their companion towards meaning and joy again. When the grief starts to subside, It does not mean you love them any less or are forgetting about them. It is your way of carrying the loss with you as you continue on with a functional life. Eventually, the memories will be there for you to reminisce, laugh, shed a happy tear, and smile with joy.

Anticipatory grief

The impending loss of a pet can bring up intense emotions. Here are some steps you can take to assist you move through this grief as you make the best decision for your pet.

1. Gather evidence that you are making the right decision

Seek opinions from friends and family.
Complete a quality of life survey
Consult a veterinarian

see 'the right time'

2. Seek professional help

3. Make a pet bucket list

4. Give your pet a hug and cherish your special bond

5. Self soothe with a technique described below

11 Ideas to celebrate your pet

Scatter their ashes at their special place
Keep their ashes in a piece of jewellery
Put their ink paw print and lock of fur keepsakes in a special place
Talk about them!
- What did they do to make you laugh?
- What was the naughtiest thing they ever did!
Plant a memorial garden
Hold a memorial service
Celebrate their birthday or date of passing
Keep one of their belongings to be passed on to a furry friend later in life
Donate to an animal charity
Cherish old photos or videos
Take a future furry companion to places of their remembrance

Self Soothe

Take 10 big deep breaths
Go outside into nature
Focus on colours or smells around you
Give yourself a hug
Make a cup of tea
Focus on physical touch
Stretch out your body for 10 minutes
Listen mindfully to a song
Give someone close a hug
Talk to yourself out loud about your emotions

Children in Grief

Children generally require more support, time, and patience to process the death of a pet. More information on this topic can be found in the recommended grief resources. Some general advice:

Help them grieve

Children are naturally inclined to show their feelings and you can help by allowing them to grieve in their own way and time. Try be open with your emotions, being a role model so that they feel comfortable to express and move through their own grief.

Goodbye, together

Encourage activities that may help them express love and grief such as drawing and making memorials, Let them lead the way.

Choosing your words

Young children may become confused when terms such as 'put to sleep' are used for death. Try be concise and honest about the concept of death.

Other Pets in Grief

Other household pets may need an adjustment period. Anxiety and changes in behaviour are common. If these are severe or persist for a prolonged period of time, please see your local veterinarian.

Some helpful tips :

- maintain their daily routine

- give them some extra patience avoiding punishment or frustration towards any new anxious behaviour

- Pheromone technology may help: Feliway (for cats) and Adaptil (dogs)

Please note that these recommendations are to third parties and although every effort was made to ensure accuracy at time of publishing, we cannot ensure ongoing quality of information provided.

Recommended Grief Resources

Online reading and pet loss resources